Getting Older & Talking with Your Doctor
Your Visit to the Doctor
As you get older, it becomes even more important to talk often and comfortably with your doctor. One reason is you may have more health problems and treatments to discuss. Its also because your health can have a big impact on other parts of your life, and that needs to be talked about too. The tips in this chapter will help you make the most of your doctor visit.
What to Bring
There are many things that you can bring to your doctor visit to help you and your doctor make the most of your time together. The things that make talking with your doctor easier include
- your visit plan
- glasses and/or hearing aids, if you use them
- a family member or friend
- an interpreter, if you need one.
Bring your visit plan.
In chapter one you learned how to make a plan before you go to see the doctor. It is important that you bring this plan to your doctor visit. The plan includes a complete list of your
- symptoms
- medications (your doctor may ask you to bring these with you to your visit)
- habits and life changes.
Bring glasses and/or hearing aids, if you use them.
It is important to be able to see and hear as well as possible during your doctor visit. If you use glasses or need aids for hearing, bring them with you to the doctor’s office. Also, let the doctor and staff know if you have a hard time seeing or hearing.
Bring a family member or friend.
Sometimes it is helpful to bring a family member or close friend with you to your doctor visit. During your visit, this person can remind you about what you want to talk about, take notes, and help you remember what your doctor says. If you bring a family member or friend, you can still have time alone with your doctor to talk about personal matters.
If a relative or friend helps with your care at home, bringing that person along when you visit the doctor may be useful. Your caregiver may have questions for your doctor about your care or want to know where to find sources of information and support.
Bring an interpreter, if you know you’ll need one.
If your doctor does not speak your language, you may want to bring an interpreter with you. Sometimes community groups or your doctor’s office can help you find an interpreter. You can also ask a trusted friend or family member to be your interpreter.
Let your doctor, interpreter or the doctor’s staff know if you do not understand what your doctor tells you during your visit. Do not let language barriers stop you from asking questions or talking about your concerns.
Best Use of Your Time
You may have a lot that you would like to talk about with your doctor. For example, you may want to talk about a new health problem, a medicine that prevents you from doing a favorite activity, and some health information you read in the newspaper. In this section you will learn tips to make the best use of your time during your doctor visit.
Rank your list of concerns and questions by importance.
Talk about the three or four most important concerns or questions first. If you put off talking about the items that are bothering you most, you may run out of time to talk about them during the visit. Afterwards, if you have time, you can talk about the other things on your list.
Use your visit plan to stick to the point.
Your doctor may not have a lot of time to talk with you. Therefore, it is important for you to stay focused on what you planned to talk about. For example, give a brief summary of what is bothering you most, when the symptom started, how often it happens, and if it is getting worse or better.
Be honest with your doctor.
You may want to say what you think your doctor wants to hear, like you are smoking less or eating healthier foods. It is important to tell your doctor the truth, even if it is embarrassing. Your doctor can best help you only when he or she knows what is really going on.
Also, be honest with your doctor about how you feel about your visit. Tell your doctor if you feel rushed, worried that you didn’t have enough time, or uncomfortable with your visit. You can offer to come back for a second visit to talk more about your health concerns.
Remember, your doctor may not be able to answer all of your questions.
Most doctors will tell you when they do not have answers. They may be able to help you find the information you need or refer you to another doctor, a specialist, who can answer your questions.
Discussing Sensitive Topics
It is important for you to discuss sensitive topics with your doctor because they can affect your health. Sensitive health issues, like sexual problems or memory loss, concern many older people, but they are not just normal parts of aging. You may find some of these topics embarrassing, but remember, your doctor is used to talking about personal matters.
Alcohol
Anyone at any age can have a drinking problem. As the body ages, alcohol can have a greater effect. Someone whose drinking habits have not changed may find over time that he or she has a problem. Also, people should not drink when taking certain medications.
Tell your doctor if
- alcohol is affecting you differently
- you are drinking more than usual
- you feel like you want to drink alcohol earlier and earlier in the day
- it is hard to stop after one or two drink
- you use alcohol to help cope with sadness.
Falling or fear of falling
A fall can cause injury and short- or long-term loss of independence. It is normal to fear falling, but you do not want to let your fear affect your daily activities. You can talk to your doctor about things you can do to lessen your chances of falling, such as exercises to improve balance and strength.
Driving
Driving is an important part of everyday life for many people. Deciding to stop driving can be hard. Tell your doctor if you or people close to you are worried about your driving and why. Your doctor can see if there are health problems that may be affecting your driving. Vision and memory tests are important. Your doctor may also know of a driver’s education refresher class for older drivers.
Grief, mourning, and depression
As people grow older, they may lose friends and family to death or illness. Also, sometimes older adults have to move away from home or cannot do a favorite activity anymore. Talking to your doctor about these types of events can help him or her suggest things to help you cope with the losses.
It is normal to feel sad and mourn when you have a loss. However, tell your doctor if you feel sad all the time or for more than a few weeks. Also, tell your doctor if you have less energy, are not hungry, have trouble sleeping, or have little interest in life. These could be signs of depression, a health problem that your doctor can help you with.
Sexuality
Most doctors understand that sexuality remains important in later life. If you are not happy with your sex life, do not just assume it is due to your age. Talk to your doctor about this issue. You can also ask your doctor about how a health problem, medication, or surgery may change your sexual function.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Practicing safe sex is important at any age. The death of a spouse, divorce, or separation can lead some older people to date again and possibly have sex with a new partner. Your doctor can discuss with you how safe sex can reduce your risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS.
Incontinence
Older people sometimes have problems making it to the bathroom. Problems controlling your bladder or bowel are called incontinence and it can often be treated. Your doctor may suggest exercises, ways to change your bathroom habits, medications, or surgery to help with this problem.
Memory problems
Many older adults worry about not being able to think and remember as well as they did when they were younger. For most older adults, these abilities do not change too much with age. Let your doctor know if you have been confused or have problems remembering recent events. Be specific about the changes you have noticed. This will help your doctor find the cause for these problems.
Problems with family
Even strong and loving families can have problems because of stress caused by illness. It can be painful to talk about family problems, but if your doctor knows about them, he or she may be able to help you and your family.
Talk to your doctor if you think you are being mistreated or neglected by a family member or caregiver. Abuse can be physical, verbal, mental, or even financial. Your doctor can help you get help if you are being mistreated.
Feeling unhappy with your doctor
Sometimes people become unhappy with their doctor. You may feel upset by something your doctor or the doctor’s staff has said or done. Do not avoid your doctor. Be honest with him or her about your feelings so that you both can work out the problem.
Hospital Stays and ER Visits
Talking with a doctor during a hospital stay or in the emergency room (ER) can be stressful at any age. This section has tips to help you.
Most hospitals have a daily schedule. This means that things like your doctor visits, medical tests, and meals will be at a similar time each day. It may be helpful to know this schedule and talk to your doctors and nurses about how much choice you have about your daily schedule. Make sure you know what time your doctor will visit you so that you have your questions ready.
Questions you may want to ask your nurses or other medical staff in the hospital:
- How long do you think I will be in the hospital?
- What doctors and other medical staff will take care of my health?
- When will I see my doctor?
- What will be my daily schedule during my hospital stay?
A visit to the ER can be especially stressful. It may go more smoothly if you can take along
- your health insurance card or policy number
- a list of your medications
- a list of your health problems
- the names and phone numbers of your doctor
- one or two family members or friends.
Some people find it helpful to have this information with them at all times.
During your ER visit, ask questions if you do not know what a doctor or other medical staff is doing, such as what medical tests are being done. Make sure you understand what the ER doctor tells you about your health, or ask him or her to write it down.
Also, make sure you know if there is anything special you need to do after you go home from the ER. For example, if you have a bandage, find out when and how to change it. Tell your regular doctor(s) as soon as possible about your visit to the ER.
Questions you may want to ask medical staff in the ER:
- Will you talk to my regular doctor about my care?
- Do I need to make special doctor visits for my health problem?
- Can you write down what I need to do to care for my health problem?
- Is there someone who speaks my language and can explain what I need to do for my health problem? (If you speak a different language.)
